|
captive virgins, polygamy and sex slaves
MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE
by
VALERIE TARICO
______________________________________________________
Valerie
Tarico
is
a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the
author of Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at
Old Beliefs in a New Light and Deas and Other Imaginings,
and the founder of www.WisdomCommons.org. Her articles about
religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society
have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon
and the Huffington Post.
Bible
believers are beside themselves about the prospect that marriage
norms and laws are changing, but let me tell you a secret
about Bible believers that I know because I was one. Most
don’t actually read their Bibles.
If
they did, they would know that the biblical model of sex and
marriage has little to do with the one they so loudly defend.
Sex in the Bible includes rape, incest, master-slave sexual
relations, captive virgins, and more. Of course, just because
a story is told in the Bible doesn’t mean it is intended
as a model for moral behaviour. Does God forbid or command
the behaviour? Is it punished or rewarded? In the New Testament
stories, does Jesus change the rules or leave them alone?
By these criteria, the Bible not only describes many forms
of sexual relationships (including sexually coercive relationships),
it gives them the divine thumbs up.
NOT
ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN
The
God of the Bible explicitly endorses polygamy and sexual slavery
and coerced marriage of young virgins along with monogamy.
In fact, he endorses all three to the point of providing detailed
regulations. Based on stories of sex and marriage that God
rewards and appears to approve one might add incest to the
mix of sexual contact that receives divine sanction.
NEW
TESTAMENT ENDORSES OLD TESTAMENT
Nowhere
does the Bible say, “Don’t have sex with someone
who doesn’t want to have sex with you.” Consent,
in the Bible, is not a thing. Furthermore, none of the norms
that are endorsed and regulated in the Old Testament law --
polygamy, sexual slavery, coerced marriage of young girls
-- are revised, reversed or condemned by Jesus. In fact, the
writer of Matthew puts these words in the mouth of Jesus:
Do
not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets;
I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell
you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest
letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear
from the Law [the Old Testament] until everything is accomplished.
(Matthew 5:17-18)
The
Law of which Jesus speaks is the Law of Moses, or the Torah,
and anyone who claims the Bible as the perfect word of an
omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent God should have the
decency to read the Torah carefully -- and then keep going.
Polygamy.
Polygamy is a norm in the Old Testament and accepted in the
New Testament. Biblicalpolygamy.com has pages dedicated to
40 biblical figures, each of whom had multiple wives. The
list includes patriarchs like Abraham and Isaac. King David,
the first king of Israel, may have limited himself to eight
wives, but his son Solomon, reputed to be the wisest man who
ever lived, had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11).
Sex
Slaves. Concubines are sex slaves, and the Bible gives instructions
on acquisition of several types of sex slaves, although the
line between biblical marriage and sexual slavery is blurry.
A Hebrew man might, for example, sell his daughter to another
Hebrew, who then has certain obligations to her once she is
used. For example, he can’t then sell her to a foreigner.
Alternately a man might see a virgin war captive that he wants
for himself.
War
Booty. In the book of Numbers (31:18) God’s servant
commands the Israelites to kill all of the used Midianite
women who have been captured in war, and all of the boy children,
but to keep all of the virgin girls for themselves. The Law
of Moses spells out a purification ritual to prepare a captive
virgin for life as a concubine. It requires her owner to shave
her head and trim her nails and give her a month to mourn
her parents before the first sex act (Deuteronomy 21:10-14).
A Hebrew girl who is raped can be sold to her rapist for 50
shekels, or about $580 (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). He must then
keep her as one of his wives for as long as she lives.
Brother’s
Wife. A man might acquire multiple wives whether he wanted
them or not if his brother died. In fact, if a brother dies
with no children, it becomes a duty to impregnate his wife.
In the book of Genesis, Onan is struck dead by God because
he fails to fulfill this duty -- preferring to spill his seed
on the ground rather than providing offspring for his brother
(Genesis 38:8-10). A New Testament story shows that the tradition
has survived. Jesus is a rabbi, and a group of scholars called
Sadducees try to test his knowledge of Hebrew Law by asking
him this question:
Teacher,”
they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without
having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise
up offspring for him. Now there were seven brothers among
us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children,
he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to
the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh.
Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose
wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married
to her?” (Matthew 22:24-28).
Jesus
is too clever for them and points out that in Heaven, that
place of perfect bliss, there is no marriage.
Having
a brother act as a sperm donor isn’t the only biblical
solution to lack of offspring. The patriarch Abraham is married
to his half-sister Sarah, but the two are childless for the
first 75 years or so of their marriage. Frustrated, Sarah
finally says, “The Lord has kept me from having children.
Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through
her.” Her slave, Hagar, becomes pregnant, and then later
Sarah does too and the story gets complicated (Genesis 16).
But that doesn’t stop Abraham’s grandson Jacob
from participating in a competition, in which his two wives
repeatedly send in their slaves to get pregnant by him, each
trying to get more sons than the other (Genesis 30:1-22).
BIBLE
BELIEVERS OR SIMPLY CHANGE-AVERSE?
These
stories might be irrelevant to the question of biblical marriage
were it not that Bible believers keep telling us that God
punishes people when he dislikes their sexual behaviour. He
disliked the behaviour of New Orleans gays so much, according
to Pat Robertson, that he sent a hurricane to drown the whole
city -- kind of like Noah’s flood. And yet, according
to the Bible story, both Abraham and Jacob were particularly
beloved and blessed by God.
The
point is that marriage has changed tremendously since the
Iron Age when the Bible was written. For centuries, concubines
and polygamy were debated by Christian leaders -- accepted
by some and rejected by others. The nuclear family model so
prized by America’s fundamentalist Christians emerged
from the interplay between Christianity and European cultures
including the monogamous tradition of the Roman Empire. As
humanity’s moral consciousness has evolved, coerced
sex has become less acceptable even within marriage while
intertribal and interracial marriage has grown in acceptance.
Today even devout Bible believers oppose sexual slavery. Marriage,
increasingly, is a commitment of love, freely given. Gay marriage
is simply a part of this broader conversation, and opposition
on the part of Bible believers has little to do with biblical
monogamy.
Since
many Christians haven’t read the whole Bible, most Bible
believers are not, as they like to claim, actually Bible believers.
Biblical literalists, even those who think themselves nondenominational,
almost all follow some theological tradition that tells them
which parts of the Bible to follow and how. Granted, sometimes
even decent people do get sucked into a sort of text worship
that I call bibliolatry, and Bible worship can make a person’s
moral priorities as archaic and cruel as those of the Iron
Age tribesmen who wrote the texts. (I once listened, horrified,
while a sweet, elderly pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses rationalized
the Old Testament slaughter of children with the same words
Nazis used to justify the slaughter of Jewish babies).
But
many who call themselves Bible believers are simply, congenitally
conservative -- meaning change-resistant. What really concerns
them is protecting the status quo, an ancient hierarchy with
privileged majority-culture straight males at the top, which
they justify by invoking ancient texts. Gay marriage will
come, as will other reproductive rights, and these Bible believers
will adapt to the change as they have others: reluctantly,
slowly and with angry protests, but in the end accepting it,
and perhaps even insisting that it was God’s will all
along.
|
|
|